Morning Sickness...it is whats for breakfast

I had heard of morning sickness prior to my first pregnancy, although the facts about it were often carefully tripped over in delicate conversation by most of the women present. It seemed to me that it was something that was either A.) a passing sensation or B.) Such a horrible experience that selective amnesia was put into play. I soon found out with my first pregnancy that the answer was most definitely B.  Morning sickness is like the anvil that continually drops (like in looney toons) on the very unaware head of the preggo - it happens without warning and often in the most awkward of circumstances. Another little beautiful factoid is that morning sickness likes to hang around for weeks, months, or sometimes an entire pregnancy. Marvelous!  Also, I have a bone to pick with the IDIOT who decided to deceive all of us by laughably naming it "Morning Sickness." Contrary to it's name "the plague of unwanted heaving and retching" most assuredly happens all day...and doesn't just look at it's watch and say "Oh NOON time, I will now cease and see you in the morning." No, no pull up a piece of tile honey, cause the toilet is now your newest frienemy.



I find myself in the season of life where I once again have been gifted the joy of a second child. I also have found myself hugging the cold, unfeeling side of the toilet for several weeks, and I have drug myself out long enough to say - To all the women out there suffering with "morning sickness" you are not alone! I stand with you, holding my emergency bucket, and proclaim loudly that there is no shame in dry heaving at a stoplight! Who cares that the people in the vehicle next to you think you are possessed.  I humbly admit to praying for someone to knock me out as I sit on the floor, hair pulled back, listening to my toddler echo my guttural sounds, braced for the next wave of fun. The hope that a belch is just a belch often consumes my very being! Unashamed I announce that I talk to the toilet water, pleading for mercy, only to find that water is not a good listener. I admit that I have imagined bopping on the head, like a whack a mole, the woman who says "my pregnancies were WONDERFUL, I was never sick..EVER." I have contemplated the thought that food will never be a pleasant experience again. And let the record show that I have at one time retched so violently that my bladder decided to get in on the action...there is no shame ladies...No MORE...Unite and proudly showcase that green glow! You are NOT ALONE!

Many may find this post to be frivolous or just downright unappealing...well this is what I have to say to you...tough cookies girl scout! Too many of us suffer in silence because, well, morning sickness is scary, and let's be honest not too many people want to hang around the girl who is re-examining her latest meal. I want us all to remember that thankfully it doesn't last forever, and at the end of the journey something beautiful happens! Hold on to that thought, wipe your eyes, and brush those teeth...nobody said becoming a mother was easy...but I can say that it is definitely worth it!




Side Note: I have found that cutting back on my dairy, and large amounts of iron ( like in beef and pork) help some of the symptoms. Also cut that vitamin in half...take one piece at breakfast and another at lunch...way easier on the tummy!

Customer with Child Parking...

I have come to truly appreciate the genius that came up with the "customer with child parking". Not only did this person make the spaces slightly larger, they also located them close to the doors of the store. A true genius. In my opinion these spots are sacred - a gift from the grocery store gods to frazzeled parents everywhere. These places have been named and claimed my friend...for people with young children. I'm sorry but if all your children are above the age of 9, much like the height requirement for a roller coaster, you are not allowed. Also, if the kiddies are NOT with you, you aren't grandfathered in...sorry.

The audacity of people never ceases to amaze me, everyday I am floored by the sheer ignorance, stupidity, or rudeness of my fellow man. Several days ago I had the opportunity to park in my sacred spot at the local grocer. Ah, the sheer elation of being a skip away from the entrance, and knowing that I would have enough space to pull my cart next to my car, without dinging another vehicle, and put my son in his carseat. Such joy! Upon leaving the grocery store, my jubilance deflated, when I saw that someone had parked so close to my car that there was barely enough room for me to squeeze by. Grumbling I put my car keys in my mouth, lifted my son out of the basket, propped my foot on the cart, wrangled my sliding car door open, and managed to get my son unscathed into his carseat. The same could not be said for my pants, which were currently waxing the car parked next to me.

Suddenly I hear a loud, somewhat harsh, "EXCUSE ME!" I craned my head out to see what was wrong. There was a woman, who was attempting to squeeze past my conga line of items to her car door. To my amazement she makes it, rudely popping my in the rear with her car door as she opens it. I am stunned. My head slowly turns to the front of the parking space - that's when I notice it. The large sign in front of her car "Customer with Child parking". I peer into her window and notice there is not a child with her. Not a solitary one. She roars out of her spot, shaking her head at me. Rubbing my behind, I quietly envision myself dinging her car with my son's retractable sippy cup. BWAP, BWAP...it only soothed my feelings a bit.
This isn't the first time that I have witnessed people using these parking spots who are sans child. I have seen young and old trampling over the nice gesture of this spot to parents, with their self centeredness. Unfortunately, unlike the handicap spot, they cannot be issued a ticket for their crime. So, I think I will begin issuing my own tickets. I believe that a bright pink sticky note that reminds them of their rude crime should do the trick. Maybe 20 or so littering the windsheild would make them rethink parking in the customer with child parking.
 So remember to think the next time you park - and if you choose to be rude you may find yourself the recipient of a mommy ticket...that is if I am feeling more passive than aggressive that day. Happy parking.