Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts

Friday, April 25, 2014

How the Moon Regained Her Shape - A Review

Recently, I read a great little book that covers not one but two topics: bullying and the phases of the moon. The title is How the Moon Regained Her Shape , written by Janet Heller. Let me just tell you that this book is a great tool for teachers;  not only does it address the issue of bullying and how hurtful it is, but it also covers a science topic! The illustrations are beautifully done and capture the essence of Native American artistry. The story telling is rich yet simple enough for a young reader to understand the concepts and come away having learned something valuable. This is definitely a great book to have in a library or on a personal book shelf!

I also was allowed to interview the author Janet Heller. I hope that you all enjoy getting to know her as I did! Janet Ruth Heller is president of the Michigan College English Association. She has a Ph.D. in English from the University of Chicago. She has published three poetry books: Exodus (WordTech Editions, 2014),Folk Concert: Changing Times (Anaphora Literary Press, 2012), and Traffic Stop(Finishing Line Press, 2011). TheUniversity of Missouri Press published her scholarly book, Coleridge, Lamb, Hazlitt, and the Reader of Drama (1990). Her children’s book about bullying, How the Moon Regained Her Shape (Arbordale, 2006), has won four national awards. I hope that you all enjoy getting to know her as I did!



Tiffany: What is the title of your book and what message does it convey to readers?

 

Janet - My book is How the Moon Regained Her Shape (Arbordale).  My fiction picture book emphasizes that bullies’ insults are often false, so children should not believe them.  Also, How the Moon Regained Her Shape encourages a child to tell friends and family members about bullying so that they can help him or her.  The story shows that a child can recover from bullying and regain happiness and self-esteem.

 
Tiffany: Give a short synopsis of your book.

 

Janet -The sun insults the moon, and the moon feels so badly hurt that she shrinks and leaves the sky. The moon turns to her comet friend and her many friends on earth to comfort her. Her friends include rabbits and Native Americans. Then she regains her full shape, happiness, and self-esteem, and she returns to her orbit. An educational appendix gives advice about bullying, scientific information about the moon, and ideas for related activities for children.

 

Tiffany: Why did you write this particular story?

 

Janet -I was bullied when I was a new student in elementary school, and I did not know how to handle the situation.  The abuse continued for years.  I wrote How the Moon Regained Her Shape to help other children so that they would not have to suffer as much.  I also wrote my story to help parents and other family members to assist children to recover from bullying.

 

Tiffany:  Are there any characters in your book that are modeled from people in your daily life?

 

Janet -Yes.  The moon in my story is based on me, and the bully sun is based on the girl who taunted me every day during recess for four years.  Round Arms, who helps the moon, is based on a friend who helped me to recover after I was bullied as an adult.

 
Tiffany:  How do you come up with your story lines?

 

Janet -Some of my stories have autobiographical elements, but I often change the plot to give the main character assistance that I did not get as a child or as an adult.  I also base my stories, poems, and dramas on tales that friends or relatives have told me about their own lives. 

 

Tiffany:  When was the point you realized that being an author was no longer a dream but a reality?

 

Janet -I began to publish poetry, essays, and literary criticism in nationally circulated journals in the mid-1970s.  During this period, I also began to attend and give readings and other presentations at conferences for writers and scholars.

 
Tiffany:   What advice would you give to aspiring writers?

 

Janet -I advise people to avoid self-publishing because than you have to market and distribute your books by yourself, which is very time-consuming.  I recommend that authors join a critique group of serious writers and/or illustrators to get feedback on their work. Take classes about writing/illustrating and current literature at your local college or university.  Also, if you write for children, join the Society of Children's Book Writers & Illustrators.  It has listserves and conferences and publications that will give you information and help you network with other creative people.  Purchase the Children's Writer's & Illustrator's Market book.  It lists some agents and many publishers for books for children. There are also websites like AgentQuery that help you find an agent.  Then send your revised manuscripts out to agents and relevant publishers.  It takes time, but a good final product is worth the investment.

 

Tiffany:  What warning(s) would you give them?

 

Janet -Good writers get constructive criticism on their drafts and then revise over and over before getting manuscripts published.  This process is hard work, it requires being open-minded about criticism, and it takes a long time.  However, many inexperienced writers reject any suggestions for revision and expect success to come very fast, which rarely happens. 

 

Tiffany: What do you enjoy the most about the writing process?

 

Janet -I enjoy sharing my work with audiences of all ages.  I love reading my books and giving creative writing workshops for schools, bookstores, libraries, and conferences. 

 

Tiffany: How did you go about getting your book published?

 

Janet -I wrote How the Moon Regained Her Shape in 1993.  I kept sending it out to publishers and getting rejection notes.  I also brought my manuscript to writing workshops and conferences to get feedback.  Finally, Arbordale Publishing accepted my story for publication in 2004 and published it with revisions two years later.

 
Tiffany:   If you were given one day to live, what would you do that day?

 

Janet -I would take a walk in a beautiful forest with my husband, and I would play games with my great-nephews.  I would also see a good drama with friends and discuss our reactions.  I would write poems, dramas, essays and stories about my experiences.

 
Tiffany:   If you could meet one of your favorite authors, who would it be and why?

 

Janet -I would like to meet Marianne Evans (pseudonym George Eliot), the British novelist of the late 1800s.  She wrote about a wide range of characters and ideas, and I would love to have a long conversation with her.  She was an early feminist, and I respect her writing and her bravery very much. 

 

Tiffany: Who inspires you?

 

Janet -My mother has faced growing older with courage and dignity.  I also respect Alicia Suskin Ostriker, an American poet and literary critic in her seventies who has the same attitude toward aging.  In fact, Ostriker published a collection of poetry entitled The Book of Seventy to celebrate her reaching that milestone.  The children in the classes that I visit to do creative writing workshops also inspire me with their creativity and enthusiasm for life.

 
Tiffany:  Most embarrassing childhood or adult moment?

 

Janet -Twelve years ago, I forgot to remove a tiny sewing scissors from my purse, and the security guards at Detroit Metropolitan Airport treated me like a criminal.  Ironically, they now permit people to carry very small scissors in purses. 

 
Tiffany:  If you could go back in time, what would you say to your younger self?

 

Janet -I would like to tell the young Janet Ruth Heller that she could relax more and try more new experiences.  I would also explain to her that bullies usually don’t tell the truth and that she needed to find someone to help her with abuse.  Peer culture misjudges people who don’t conform, so young nonconformist Janet could take her peers less seriously. 

 
Tiffany:   What’s next for you?

 

Janet -I’m currently working on a memoir, a poetry book about nature, and a story about sexual harassment.

 

 If you are interested in learning more about Janet's work you can find her at the following links:

 
 website is http://www.redroom.com/author/janet-ruth-heller  
 blog is http://www.redroom.com/author/janet-ruth-heller/blog 

 

The website for How the Moon Regained Her Shape is www.arbordalepublishing.com/Moon.php

 

The website for Coleridge, Lamb, Hazlitt, and the Reader of Drama is http://press.umsystem.edu/otherbooks/heller.htm

 


 

The website for Folk Concert:  Changing Times is


 

The website for Exodus is http://www.wordtechweb.com/heller.html

 

Janet's Facebook page is ‎ https://www.facebook.com/janetruth.heller

 

Janet's profile on LinkedIn is www.linkedin.com/pub/janet-heller/37/a2a/395

 

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Writer's Window Thursday Welcomes Rhonda Patton


Welcome to Writer's Window Thursday! Today we are going to meet children's book author, Rhonda Patton. Rhonda is a stay at home mother of two-  One teenager and one three year old. She feels like her cup overflows taking care of the two of them! She has over 15 books published and is currently taking  online associates courses to get her degree in Graphic Arts. Let's take a peek into this author's vivid imagination.

Tiffany: What is the title of your book and what message does it convey to readers?

Rhonda - “Grayson the BULLY Frog with Ted and Raymond” this book focuses on the feelings of one frog being bullied.  It will help younger children see the pain and stop bullying.

 
Tiffany: Give a short synopsis of your book.

 Rhonda - Grayson bullies Ted. Ted doesn’t like it much.  Ted also gets mad at Raymond for just watching Ted get bullied.

 
Tiffany:Why did you write this particular story?

Rhonda - My daughter and her friend’s get bullied daily where they do not even want to go to the school.  There is a GREAT NEED for these books.

 
Tiffany:Are there any characters in your books that are modeled from people in your daily life?

Rhonda - I was also bullied as a kid.  I have a kind heart and usually the kids that are kind get bullied easier than the ones that are bold.  So the characters are what I had to deal with in my life.

 
Tiffany:How do you come up with your story lines?

Rhonda - REAL life.  I want kids to be able to look at this story and relate to all of them.  I have many books on life. 

 

Tiffany:What was the point you realized that being an author was no longer a dream but a reality?
Rhonda -Three years ago I never would have thought my dream would come true.  It is still an amazing feeling to get another book out there.  My turning point was when I saw my book featured in MOMTASTIC featured by Kristin Davis of “Sex and the City” I cried all day. 

 
Tiffany:What advice would you give to aspiring writers?

Rhonda - If you are putting out a book and it is not selling, you are not trying hard enough.  Keep spreading your work, keep pushing forward, and keep writing.  Your first book may not become HUGE overnight, but it will get there.

 
Tiffany:What warning(s) would you give them?

Rhonda -Do NOT stop because you get ONE bad review.  If you make a mistake, fix them and keep going. 

 
Tiffany:What do you enjoy the most about the writing process?

Rhonda - I love seeing my book come into the little characters.  My husband creates my characters.  He does an excellent job in what I want to present to the kids.  I put the colors into the characters to make them come to life.  And then seeing the kids enjoys the books.

 
Tiffany:How did you go about getting your book published?

Rhonda - I cannot afford a lot so I had to choose create space.  I am self-published but I have had some GREAT reviews and hoping one day an animation show for Ted and Raymond.

 
Tiffany:If you were given one day to live, what would you do that day?

Rhonda -I would work on another book about inspiring someone to fulfill his or her dreams and not wait.  Do not put your dreams in a corner.  If your dreams are to go to Hawaii and you know you do not have the money, then save $5 a week until you can go.  You can do it if you try.

 
Tiffany:If you could meet one of your favorite authors, who would it be and why?

Rhonda - William Joyce.  He inspired me to start my writing again.  He also is very talented and lives in my hometown.

 
Tiffany:Who inspires you?

Rhonda - My kids.  I want the best for them.

 
Tiffany:If you could go back in time, what would you say to your younger self?

Rhonda - Never think that you cannot. You can.

 
Tiffany:What’s next for you? 

Rhonda -I have many stories coming.  I do not want to give away my projects J
 
 
Thank you for sharing with us today Rhonda! I look forward to seeing more of your work soon. If you are interested in learning more about Rhonda's books you can find them here:
 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

The BullyProof Classroom: An interview

Last night I had the opportunity to speak with Mr. Jim Burns over at the BullyProof classroom. I enjoyed conversing with him, and hope to do so again. He has so many wonderful ideas and my greatest desire is that our conversation last night gave hope to someone and changed a life. Here are some of the highlights from last night.

  • Be your child's first responder!
  • Bullying has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with what is going on in the bully's heart.
  • Be honest with your children about your own experiences with bullying.
  • Bullyproof your child's heart by giving them undeniable truths.
  • The very things that make you different, make you amazingly special.
  • The reason that healing for the victims of bullying is rarely addressed is due to the fact that it takes too much time. Punishing the bully is easier and quicker - but often ineffective.
  • All of us are Survivors of bullying.

 Listen in to hear more of our discussion. Here is the interview...hope you enjoy it!

The BullyProof Classroom

Monday, October 21, 2013

Radio Interview on "Living Large Radio"

I had the pleasure yesterday of being interviewed about my book "Red is the Color of..." and the message it contains - re-building self worth after being bullied.

I was a little nervous, but for my virgin interview I think I did just fine.
Some of the topics we covered were:
  1. My past experiences with bullying.
  2. How adults can have a immediate impact of a child's sense of worth after being bullied.
  3. How we often become the bully - either to ourselves ( repeating the lies in our mind) or bullying others out of fear.
  4. The communication gap between adults and children
  5.  How being honest is always the way to open the doors of communication with a child
These are just a few of the topics we discussed.
If my words make the difference in one person's life then that is enough for me!

Please listen in at
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/livinglarge2013/2013/10/20/red-is-the-color-ofwchildrens-author-tiffany-haisten

Also go and like Living Large on Facebook...

Friday, October 18, 2013

School Presentation - The crumpled piece of paper...

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of returning to the first school I taught at. My second graders are now in the 5th grade and seeing them made me smile. I smiled because I wrote "Red is the Color of..." for students just like them.This class were the first ones to ever hear my story. One of my students came up to me afterward and reminded me that I had read them this story, but as she put it "it was in your little notebook then, with all your other stories."  I enjoyed seeing them all, I enjoyed being reminded of the impact that one teacher can have, and the impact a particular group of students can have on the teacher. I loved this class.

How is a book made? It all starts out as an Idea...

I returned at the request of a librarian friend of mine, and I am grateful to her for allowing me the pleasure of connecting to my primary audience - children. I had two things that I wanted to teach them yesterday - how a book is made and how special they, our future generation, are to us.

My book was the main attraction of the day, but I also used art to communicate the continued message of the book. It was my "crumpled piece of paper" message. I think the message of both devices was clearly heard that day. Why do I know this? Because more than one child came up and told me their story - a story that is so sadly similar to mine. I received one note from a child after I finished my presentation, the inscription simply said "To the bravest person I have ever met. Thank you." Those words touched me, because in those 55 minutes something spoke to this young girl; I may never know exactly what, but I am humbled that it did. That's the power of the written word, it is ageless, creates magic in the minds of the readers, and whispers to the quiet corners of our hearts. Words are so powerful, make sure you use them with respect and caution.

The crumpled piece of paper...that is us after being bullied. Someone needs to come along
and remind us that we are valued, strong, kind, hopeful, special, and LOVED.
 Love is powerful because it has all these attributes to it


 
 

 
 It was truly a wonderful day - a day of remembering the past, the present, and the hope of a changed future. I greatly enjoyed my time and I hope to be able to hold readings like this in the future. Remember that what makes you different makes you Special!

*Pictures contributed by Georgena Ellison.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

The Scars don't have to last a lifetime...


I can still feel their arms pulling my half clothed 11 year old body up on the locker bench. I can still hear the taunting voices of the two girls who began to describe the apparent ugliness of my body for all to hear and see. I can still hear the giggles as I ripped myself away to hide in the bathroom. I can still feel the deep anger and pain that trickled down my face as I heard the echo of their words in my head. A moment forever ingrained on my memory, one moment that could have destroyed me, but here I stand unbroken.

I was in the 6th grade when I first encountered cruel bullying. I had always dealt with the grade school taunting, but that day was the first time I was faced with sadistically and intentionally mean bullying. The days that followed were not much better, it seemed that I now had a target on my back, and I began to wonder if this is what Hell felt like. My reaction was to crumple inwardly at ever snicker in the hall and take every whispered word to heart - I began to believe the lies. My mother and father saw a once vibrant, cheerful girl wane. Thankfully my parents didn't leave me alone in my thoughts; through the darkness of untruth came loving hands to embrace my broken heart. Healing came from their loving intervention.

Bullying is becoming an epidemic in our schools, in our homes, and in our daily lives. Why?
 I believe that bullying has continued to grow because we have forgotten to teach children the value or worth of another person and themselves. They have lost their moral compass and it is frighteningly apparent. Bullying attempts to tear down the essence of person; it is an attempt to shred the soul. Bullying is often a direct response to negative experiences or environments. Many children grow up in environments that would be the stuff of nightmares - they are left scared, angry, feeling worthless, and unloved. So they act out the only way they know how. Bullying can also be learned behavior; the result of mirroring what they see or hear their parents say, off hand, at home. Ultimately, we all at one time or another have been bullied or been the bully. How can this be? Well it is all in how we react to being bullied.
We become the bully.

After bullying has occurred two things or natural instincts happen - 1) We carry on the assault of the bully inwardly which inflicts tremendous damage to our self esteem;  or 2) We begin to fight back in fear of being bullied. Either way we become the bully, either to ourselves or to others. Someone has to step up and stop the cycle. It cannot be ignored because it is ruining our children. It is an adults time to be the hero.

How can an adult stop the inner bullying? How can we halt the self inflicted wounds of believing that the untrue is true?
 Simply by talking. Talk to your children…not at them, but talk with them. As a society we have lost the art of loving and friendly communication. Too many times we let the distractions of radio, TV, phone, or Internet interrupt opportunities to just talk - to get to know our children's thoughts and let them in on ours. I had a very open, loving, and communicative relationship with my parents. This was instrumental in my overcoming the bullying I had experienced, and any future encounters. Talking with them gave me the avenue to vent my fears and frustrations in a safe way. In a way that I didn't take it out on others - so that I didn't become the very thing that I feared. As adults and parents we cannot ignore bullying, we cannot expect our children to get over it, or to stand up to it. We cannot shift that burden onto their young shoulders because they are not equipped to handle it. Think back - were you mature enough to handle bullying at their age?
Undeniable Truths

My parents began to break down the lies flying through my head by giving me tangible truths - Undeniable truths. They took the words or actions of the bullies and began to chip away by telling me simple things. "Look at your eyes, have you ever seen anybody with similar color or shape. Look at your hands and legs, they allow you to draw and run. Look at your sister and brother, look at Dad and I - have you ever seen anyone who looks just like us?" This may seem so elementary, but it made me realize that the things that made me look different were not alien, I was just like everybody else, because EVERYBODY is different. They filled me up with the positive and changed my perspective, so that the next time my response to a negative situation would be different. They taught me that bullying stems from fear, jealousy, anger, and hate. I learned that bullying had absolutely nothing to do with me, instead it had everything to do with what was in the heart of the person doing the bullying. We need to cultivate kindness, respect, hope, integrity, and love in the hearts of our children, because the absence of these emotions allows cruelty to invade and run rampant.
We are our children's first responders.

Does this mean that our children will never be bullied? No. Will it prevent emotional wounds inflicted by the bully? No. But just like a doctor treats his patients with medicine, we ,as parents, must be willing to prescribe the treatment that our children need to begin to heal. We have to be the first responders, or we will lose them. Investing in a child will be the greatest return we will ever get, and teaching them how to navigate the murky waters of life are paramount for them to become well adjusted and confident. Being bullied is a prime teachable moment. A moment that will help them define who they are and what they are worth. I am living proof of that.

Time does heal many things, hearts can be mended, and the tarnished can be made new again. I let go of the fear and anger I felt after being cruelly mocked that day so many years ago. What is left is the knowledge that I am bigger than the bully. I am stronger than the bully. My scars are vanishing, but theirs are still gaping. I am unbroken, and I weep for the broken hearts that tried to crush my soul.  I was treated immediately by my first responders, and engraved upon my heart is the truth that God loves me and I am wonderfully made.
**Check out my book "Red is the Color of..." and use it as a tool to start talking with your children about their worth.